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Weight, Habits, Choices, Feelings

After starting out my SparkPeople program with great energy, I've been doing next to nothing for the last month and more: not weighing myself, not tracking my intake, not drinking 8 glasses of water per day, not exercising. That lack of focus and progress was not just in the area of health and fitness, however; I've been experiencing inertia pretty much everywhere in my life.

However, I was startled and pleased to get on the scale this morning and find out that I have not gained any weight back. This is a major accomplishment for me, and means that I've been making meaningful changes in my basic habits.

That was tested this afternoon when a very droopy Wolfling came home from her first day of school and my plans for the rest of the day went out the window. I engaged with her about her school day and helped her get started with good organizing habits, but it was like pulling teeth. She wasn't sullen, she was just listless and didn't seem engaged.

I ended up leaving her home to grocery shopping, having a headache and feeling hungry. I made a point of avoiding the McDonalds drivethrough that shares a parking lot with the grocery store. I stopped at a mailbox store to mail some important documents, but that didn't work out. While shopping, I had a phone call with my parents that added to my stress. The fact that part of the conversation was about the upcoming funeral of a dear friend of the family didn't help. The fact that the funeral is now scheduled opposite my many-times-delayed lunch with a_belletrist also didn't help. Then there were the back-and-forth emails with another friend about logistical details for this weekend that are up in the air.

By the time I left the grocery store my head was feeling even worse, and my non-rational brain was screaming at me that I deserved some fast comfort food because of the stress in my life, and that I would feel much better if I got some.

Somewhere I found the clarity to tell myself gently but firmly that drive-through would not actually make anything better, but only further delay my achieving my weight loss goals. I came home and had a Lean Cuisine meal instead. It didn't give me the emotional soothing that I know the fast food would have, but I feel better about myself.

Tomorrow we start our meal plan for the week, and I have the ingredients we need. (Pot roast! Veggies! Biscuits!) The older Wolfling gets, the more important it feels to me to try to do better at having dinner being something planned and deliberate. She's taking a "Food" course this semester, and I'm sure that will help as well.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Sep. 3rd, 2009 07:49 am (UTC)
Yeah, the first day of school mooshes a brain like no other in the world.

Also, here's a hopefully helpful tip: you don't -need- to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Its supposed to be the -equivalent- of 8. We can already get enough water via the food we eat and other drinks like milk, juice, etc.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )


Queen of Swords

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