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Descending

Feeling unexpectedly, deeply lonely this evening, despite some good social contact this week.

I think it's the deep processing I'm starting. Next week is the dark moon, my vigil. This is the waning time, and I'm feeling myself slipping down into the Underworld. It's not grief this time, it's excavation. Hopefully there will also be reclaiming.

I miss the Mouse, my teacher, out of contact for a few weeks -- but part of me feels like I'm supposed to do this alone, without her support.

I feel empty inside. Things are missing. Inanna descended and surrendered her regalia, her power. The story doesn't talk about her getting it back -- or if it all remained behind and she went on to something new. That's the mystery I need to solve for myself.

I do not fear the dark.
I am not afraid to be alone.

But sometimes I get lonely -- even as I feel certain that being alone is essential for the work of the next few days.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
rebeccax
Aug. 14th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
Totally off topic, but I sent you a message with my cell number. I'll be in your neck of the woods on the 20th.
redsonjasea
Aug. 14th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC)
I think no one really finds their inner strength until completely alone. I hope you find strength, curiousity and wisdom over the next few days
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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Queen of Swords

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