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Vigil

[x-posted]


I firmly believe that most of the essential work of spirituality is done in the bits and pieces of daily life: not just maintaining regular practices, but making choices that align with my beliefs and values, maintaining the bonds of relationship with those around me, seen and unseen, and etc.

But then there are the Other Times, when it's necessary to do something bigger, more intense, more deep. This seems to be one of those times.



The daily work is a grind, and I can feel my relationship with Ereshkigal losing immediacy. Not good. Being Her priestess means that maintaining that relationship in a vital way is at the core of my path. Of course it will go through ups and downs, and the intensity will wax and wane. . . but it's been waning far too much over the past couple of months.

So it's time to do something to re-set my inner calibrations, take myself deeper than my daily practices have been going.

There's a vigil in my near future: an all-night communion with Herself that needs to occur.

I'm not sure yet what specifically needs to be done during that time, and I'm sure She will have Her own ideas that I won't know about until then, but I have a week or so to meditate and let things emerge.

As is frequently the case, I wish that there was someone close by who shared more of the specific work that I do. . . But almost as soon as I formed that thought I got a shake of the head from Her. I need to discern, prepare, and follow through alone this time. I need to push myself and prove to myself -- and to Her -- that I can do it.

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Queen of Swords

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