Queen of Swords (qos) wrote,
Queen of Swords

Insight About Effort

It's always good for me to talk with oakmouse when I'm feeling frustrated and upset with myself. She does an excellent job of discerning when I'm focused on something I really do need to work to change and when I'm being too hard on myself.

I told her today that I was feeling frustrated because the last couple of months have been so hard, and that every time I feel like I'm getting some traction on my various endeavors (building my business, improving my fitness, getting established in a new level of spiritual practice), something comes along and knocks me off balance and tangles me up.

Usually I am pretty good at having a positive attitude about things and taking responsibility for what I can control in regards to my emotions, my mood, my efforts, and etc. -- but when I can't change my circumstances through a combination of optimism and responsibility I feel worse because then it feels like not only am I not advancing on my goals, I have failed at transforming my circumstances internally.

That's what I've been doing the last couple of days: making a rough patch even more difficult by berating myself for not being capable of rising above it, despite both Wolfling and myself being ill and a couple of other challenges.

I shouldn't give up, but there are times to cut myself some slack, and this seems to be one of them.
Tags: self reflection
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