I woke up sometime around 4:45 this morning and have not been able to get back to sleep. There's a bit of fear in it, a bit of excitement, stress about the move. . . But most of all a sense of unreality. I've felt trapped there for so long. I'm not going to be in that cage anymore.
I've been clearing out my cubicle and my computer for the past couple of days, including photo files from the years I was taking pictures as part of my admin and communications duties. A lot of memories, a lot of people. . . A lot of good people, people I'll miss.
There's a lot of work and information that's going to be discarded when I leave: files purged, memory wiped. It seems like a shameful waste of resources -- but nothing lasts forever. There's probably nothing I know that's unique, unless it's some of the details of the program I developed -- and that's been judged non-essential. If I'd cared more about this job, that would probably hurt.
There's some grief at leaving MyCo, and a bit of fear. I've been a paycheck collector all my working life. What I'm planning to do is scary. But then I realize that the only thing scarier than leaving MyCo is staying.